Farts

It has been slow at work recently, so the other night my coworkers and I got to talking about farting in front of your significant other (Note to non-service industry people: this is what your waitress/waiter is talking about when they are huddled with their coworkers by the coffee station). Some of my (American) coworkers were shocked to learn that my fiancé, who I have been with for 4 years, has never farted or burped in front of me. My theory is that many men who are not from the US are more traditional and gentlemanly than their American counterparts and are more mindful of such things. A generalization, I know. A really dumb one. But I wanted to validate my theory by asking some of my foreign born coworkers if this was true. It was slow and I was bored. My coworker Emma has more balls than I do, so she entered the kitchen, which is comprised of strictly foreign born men, to see if I was right.

“Hey, guys! I want to ask you a question!” The Hispanic and African cooks stopped chatting in Spanish and Patoi and focused their attention onto her. “Me and waitress over here wanted to see if non American men fart in front of their girlfriends. Do any of you fart in front of your girlfriends?”

Now all of the cooks/the dishwasher/the salad prep guy were glaring at her. For a few seconds, there was complete silence. Then Amadi, our skinny, African salad guy, broke the silence. “Why not?” he replied enthusiastically. We all busted out laughing and made fun of him for the rest of the night. I guess my theory was wrong.